I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
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he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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