So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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