Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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