Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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