I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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