For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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