I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize