I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize