now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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