I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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