I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
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At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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