She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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