Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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