You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just invented taco cereal.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize