come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize