Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I am spending my child support on dildos
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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