Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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