Will you blow on my dice?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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