I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
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Is it penis luge time yet?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
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I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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