K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize