it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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