...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
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I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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