Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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