Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Found your dick twin last night
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I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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