FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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