dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize