okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize