You smell like stripper and shame
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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