Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i love accidental penises.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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