can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I need to calm my uterus...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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