I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize