sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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