Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
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She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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