thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize