he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
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do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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