Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize