eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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