I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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