so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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