dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
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Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
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Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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