I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize