Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize