before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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