Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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