dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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