I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
a search helicopter?!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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