thus making me awesome and them whores
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize