i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize