Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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