I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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