im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
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OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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