Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
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