I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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