Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
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He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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